The Power of Inner Dialogue in Learning Transfer
I’ve previously shared on my blog how much I admire The Conversation, a peer-reviewed online newspaper that features quality reporting from academics. Recently, I came across an article on parental praise, which no doubt shapes our inner dialogue well beyond our childhood. This made me reflect on the connection between learning transfer and inner dialogue.
As we all know, learning transfer refers to the application of learning. When designing a training program, we aim for behaviour change—tangible actions that can be seen, photographed, or recorded. This practical insight comes from Julie Dirksen, and I often use it to distinguish what we’re looking for in training outcomes. But while behaviour change is visible, like the tip of an iceberg, much of what drives that change lies beneath the surface. Below the waterline, we have our thoughts, feelings, values, fears, needs, identity, and, most importantly, our belief systems.
And that’s where inner dialogue comes in. It’s the often overlooked but critical force influencing our behaviour. What has struck me in some recent coaching sessions is how many people accept their inner dialogue as fact, allowing it to run the show. But the truth is, we need to pause and identify this self-talk. Do you know what your inner dialogue is saying right now? Is it helping or hindering your growth?
Identifying Your Inner Dialogue
The first step to working with your inner dialogue is being able to recognise it. Whether you’re working with a coach, an AI coach, or simply journaling, it’s crucial to open up and capture what your inner dialogue is telling you in the present moment. Often, people may disagree with or shout down this voice. They know it isn’t true, but trying to argue with it doesn’t make it any less persistent. These strategies aren’t useful when you’re trying to soften and reduce the impact of negative inner dialogue.
Working Compassionately with Your Inner Dialogue
The more you work with your inner dialogue, the more you’ll realise that it’s not about ignoring or silencing it. Instead, it’s about questioning it compassionately. Ask yourself: Is this dialogue true? It’s important to recognise that at some point, this inner voice may have served a purpose—it might have been protective or guiding—but it could be outdated now. Alternatively, it may not even be your voice, but something you’ve picked up from others.
An approach I find helpful is to imagine your inner dialogue as a character. For me, it’s a stroppy teenager. If you’ve ever dealt with a stroppy teen, you know that shouting at them only leads to more defiance. Reasoning with your inner voice, thanking it for its contribution, and then calmly letting it know you’re selecting a different path is a much more effective strategy.
Shifting Your Self-Talk for Better Outcomes
In the context of learning transfer, shifting your inner dialogue can unlock powerful results. Just as you work to develop new behaviours through training, you need to nurture a new inner dialogue that aligns with your goals. By choosing to engage compassionately and mindfully with your self-talk, you give yourself the space to adopt new, empowering narratives that support your growth.
So, take a moment today to ask yourself: What is my inner dialogue saying? And how can I work with it, not against it, to achieve meaningful, sustainable change?
More tips and strategies on this topic will follow in my up-and-coming webinar. Join us!
PS – If you are interested in the article on Parental Praise, check it out here…
And if you want to know more about Learning Transfer, you might want to join our up-and-coming webinar Adapting Learning Transfer: The Basics Have Changed.
Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash