Why it Doesn’t Matter that Chatbots Can’t Do Empathy
Why it doesn’t matter that chatbots can’t do empathy… even for coaching!
OK – this is a CRAZY statement surely… But bear with me. As unlikely as it sounds. It’s true.
People often get really hung up on the fact that chatbots can’t replace humans on some tasks because chatbots can’t feel and we want human connections – especially with coaching.
But a lot of the time when we want empathy or compassion from someone, it’s not because we need the agreement or support – it’s because we don’t want the opposite. We don’t want someone to argue with us, or disagree, or – and this is the big one – to judge us.
At the root of all empathy and compassion is NON-JUDGEMENT and here’s the funny bit – chatbots can’t judge. They don’t have the capacity. And if they have been programmed sensitively in a compassionate way, they can help facilitate a deeper conversation where a learner can explore their own ideas and options in a psychologically safe way.
In fact, what Coach M often flags is where the learner is judging themselves.
One of my favourite comments was from a learner in the Middle East who shared: “Coach M was lovely and encouraging – you feel the freedom of your thoughts without being judged.”
At the core of behavioural change is not judging others who we are helping to change AND not judging OURSELVES when we are trying to change.
This doesn’t mean that we can’t CHALLENGE. Challenging isn’t judging; it’s creating stretch, inviting an exploration of thoughts, and if it’s done in a compassionate way, you’ll get the very best outcomes, including improved creativity and innovative ideas.
In his book ‘Think Again’, Adam Grant (Professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specialising in Organisational Psychology) talks about having a “challenge” network rather than a “support” network. He talks about the importance of questioning our own ideas. Integral to this is having the ability to slow down and reflect on our own thinking.
Leaders need to truly know how to drop both judging others and feeling judged. Judgement leads to defensiveness, and at best a shutting down of communication or ideas. At worst, it can lead to an escalation of an argument in an unhealthy way. You can disagree, but do it from a position of curiosity, not the need to be right or prove someone wrong.
So it doesn’t matter that chatbots can’t be empathic or able to feel as humans can. We might think that people want empathy but really, they want to be listened to, and not judged. Chatbots can do a great job at that, as well as creating behavioural change.
And that’s why we love what we do, and to do what we love.
If you find that you’ve been judging the concept of a chatbot for learning transfer and are ready now to experiment, do get in touch. Consider what would happen if you shifted the learning agenda in your organisation from one of content, curation, and delivery of curriculum, to changing behaviours, creating business impact and using data to identify risks, inform design and demonstrate outcomes. Now that would be a paradigm shift.
To all the adventures and explorations in learning.
Let’s talk. Without judgement.
Em