The problem (or opportunity!) with being a Turning Learning into Action (TLA) expert is you have to walk the talk and actually take action after attending training. Especially when it transpires that you really, really don’t want to.
I recently attended the “Get Real” seminar, hosted by Rowdy McLean. What I love about Rowdy’s work is that it’s a combination of personal and professional growth for those who wouldn’t usually find themselves in this arena. The program culminates in a goal setting process – 12 goals in 12 areas of your life.
I was breezing through the exercise (being an experienced goal setter) when, all of a sudden, I faltered. Big time. “Adventure?” What on earth would I want with a goal in adventure?
I scanned my internal resources, to no avail. No adventure goals in the past. No adventure desires. No successes to think back on, although one could argue coming to a country alone, where you only know 3 people, to set up a business, was adventure enough for one lifetime.
No, my life was devoid of adventure.
Rowdy believes you need goals in all 12 areas to have a balanced life. OK, I was there to play the game and learn, so I had to pick a goal in adventure. It would stretch me, but I could do it. And it was ‘easy’ enough to create momentum.
Those who follow my work will know one of my key strategies for change is accountability. Within 24 hours of returning from the event I had emailed my friends, aiming to get a group together who could hold me accountable.
One brave friend, Sacha, was in. Two others said they didn’t want to do it, but would join me if I were desperate. Based on responses from my list of 15 ‘probables’, it soon became clear I’m not the only one not keen on adventure. Sacha and I bravely set a date for 3 weeks’ time.
Apart from having the looming date in the diary, I thought little more about it. After all, it’s just following through. Easy. Or so I thought.
The day arrived. And the excuses came rolling into my self-talk. I looked out the window – beautiful weather. Perfect in fact, In fact, perhaps too good to waste. Perhaps I should just spend the day at the beach? Or since I’d slept badly and had a sore neck, maybe I should just rest up? Then there was the friend who wanted join the adventure at the last minute, but couldn’t make it that morning. Perhaps we should postpone? I argued with myself, justifying in my mind I was only going for a postponement, not a cancellation.
Then, just as I was texting Sacha to let her know I thought we should do it another day, came a blinding realisation! I really, really didn’t want to go. In fact, I would do anything to avoid it. I was making up excuses left, right and centre – why the time wasn’t ideal, why perhaps Sacha and I weren’t the right weight for the task, why I didn’t have to go. But when it came right down to it, I just didn’t want to do this ‘adventure thing’.
At this point I also realised I was scared. Scared of something completely out of my comfort zone, something I had never done before, something that, at least in my overactive mind, might end in death.
Our thoughts do become illogical when we’re trying to change. Our internal dialogue wants us to stay safe, keep ourselves within the limits of what we know and what we’re sure we can do. It doesn’t want us to look stupid, fail or be uncomfortable.
Sacha, true friend and trooper that she is, clocked the situation and held me accountable! No excuses, we would do it; anyway it would be fun. Her boyfriend had done it before and said we’d be fine!
Right up until arriving at the venue I was still trying everything I could to wriggle out of it, including this feeble last ditch attempt “shouldn’t we get an icecream before giving it a go?”. Excuses firmly rebuffed, finally I found myself standing with 25 teens, queuing to be fitted for a harness.
The girls were giggling and celebrating what seemed to be a 12th birthday. Me, at the grand old age of 37, I was petrified.
Sacha was probably a bit apprehensive too, made more so by my irrational behaviour. I had no reasonable excuse, such as a fear of heights. No, this was just fear of change or of getting out of my comfort zone. It was a hard but important lesson for me to learn, since are the very issues I challenge and support people to do day in day out.
These pictures tell the full story. I made it up the climbing wall 5 or 6 times and once came within 1 metre of the top. The feelings of relief and achievement were immense and well worth it. Sacha was a complete star, making it to the top every time and recommending great strategies for which holds we should should aim for with our hands and feet.
Was it fun? Well, kind of.
There was the fun of a real adrenalin rush afterwards. And seeing all the kids around me having a blast was inspiring in itself. At age 12 I would have been just as scared as now, but wouldn’t have known enough about change to push myself forward. And I wouldn’t have been mature enough to understand the need for and power of having someone else to hold you accountable.
(Cheers to you, Sacha, for not only being an outstanding business coach but an exceptional accountability buddy.)
As adults we rarely come across situations that are completely new to us and push our buttons.
I challenge you to get out of your comfort zone at least once this holiday season. If adventure isn’t your thing, try a singing lesson or karaoke. Or writing a poem and sharing it with a loved one would stretch your comfort horizon. And there’s always the the climbing wall at St Leonards!
Whatever your stretch, enjoy it as much as you can before and during. And really celebrate afterwards!
Out of the comfort zone!
Sacha at the top